The Frog Incident
by Penstakingly
Summary: Q pays a visit to DS9 and strikes up a conversation with Ezri. Poor little Ezri just had to open her mouth in front of Q and say how funny it would be "If Riker or someone turned into a frog". Q, of course, took that idea and ran with it. Captain Picard makes a cameo.


~ Dedicated to the USS Tumblr ~

I do not own any of the characters. Q, Commander Riker, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Ezri Dax belong to the writers of Star Trek.

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**Dax, Personal Log Stardate 52245.2**

I stopped by the Infirmary to ask Julian where Riker was being housed, since he was put in charge of that last night by the Captain. He told me thst Commander Riker's quarters were on habitat level H, where we usually house most of our diplomats.

When I palmed the door chime of the Commander's quarters, I had quite forgotten that, of course, he is a _frog_ at the moment. Off to a great start already! I heard a croak, which I could only assume meant "Come in". There he was sitting on a silk napkin on the table. There was some food put out for him, just as Julian had said he'd done. It looked mostly untouched. It was some kind of algae paste. Riker frog licked his eyeball and I tried not to laugh or shudder at that. He narrowed his little eyes when I approached. So… I got down on one knee in front of him on the table. I would have laughed at how it looked if it weren't for the fact that I could be stripped of my rank. Oh I'm sure he could find some way to do that. After all, the man hates Q and I may have indirectly violated the Prime Directive. Well, actually, I already violated everything I learned in temporal mechanics. Knowing Q and his powers, he could have destroyed whole star systems with the cosmic snap that brought Julian and I to Voyager last week. Again, less thinking on that is preferable.

I got down on one knee, looked at the Riker Frog, and deeply apologised for what happened. I told him that it would be my job to make his stay as comfortable as possible. He looked a little dry, so that made me think: since he's a frog, maybe I should recreate an appropriate environment. I adjusted the environmental controls so that his room was more humid and replicated lily pads to place in the bath tub. I placed him on the step of the bath... but he jumped right up onto my shoulder and croaked loudly in my ear. I can't believe it, but it actually terrified me! So I lost it.

"Look I'm trying to help, Commander! I caused you tremendous inconvenience, so I'm trying to make you as comfortable as possible! You are in the form of a frog at the moment, so, logically, it would make sense that I re-create comfortable environments for a frog. You looked a little… dry."

He croaked at that. I could have sworn it sounded a little sarcastic. But after a few moments of staring at the bath, he jumped off of me and onto a lily pad. He almost fell off, but I saved him. Then it began to sink because he was rather… large… for it. As if his mood needed further darkening. So I replicated a stronger, larger species of lily pad. But Riker would have _NONE_ of that, and jumped right at me. Because his movement was so sudden, I squealed like a little girl, fell back onto the floor, and hit my head. I must have passed out for a little while because I when I came to, the first thing I felt was a lot of wetness in my chest. When I looked up, I saw Riker the frog smack dab in the middle of my chest, a giant wet spot underneath him.

At that very instant, there came a priority message from the _Enterprise_. I heard my comm. badge chime and Ben's voice come over my comm. unit. I picked up my uniform jacket and tapped the comm. badge. Benjamin thankfully alerted me to the message before sending it my way. But I wish he had let me know just who I was speaking to.

Did you guess Deanna?

Oh if only. Try again.

I picked myself up from the floor and Riker clambered onto my shoulder. I made my way out of the bathroom to the communications terminal, my head feeling like it was going to split open. I pressed the button and suddenly **Captain Jean-Luc Picard **appeared, all prim and regal, with a cup of hot Earl Grey tea on one side and a neat stack of PADDs on the other. I think if I stood any straighter, I would have sprained something, and he could tell immediately.

"At ease, Lieutenant… Dax, is it?"

"Sir. Ezri Dax, sir." I nodded stiffly.

"As I understand from your Captain, my First Officer, Commander Riker, was transported to your station last night _by Q_." More sternly, with some rumblings of anger, he continued, "and it was Q himself who gloated that a Starfleet officer, of all people, was the fool responsible for suggesting it to him. Is that true?"

I tried not to wince, but failed. "Yes, sir."

*Ribbit ribbit.* (Jean-Luc, good to see you.)

"Good to see you're alright, Commander." Picard leaned forward slightly, his tone changing back to severity and fixed his gaze back on Ezri, admonishing her, "and as for you, Lieutenant, when you see Q again, _you_ are to order him to restore and return my First Officer to me immediately. Is that understood, Lieutenant?"

"Understood, sir!"

*Rrribbit.* (Heh. I'd like to see how _that_ goes.)

"Oh and Lieutenant."

"Yes sir?"

"You may want to stop by your Infirmary and get a change of clothes."

"Sir..?"

"Your head is _bleeding_, Lieutenant, and you have a rather large stain on your chest." At the look that must have crossed my fact, the Captain cracked a smile. "Good day, Lieutenant Dax."

Suddenly, I felt Riker fall off my shoulder. I instantly reacted and cupped him in my hands to break the fall. I heard a series of chirps from him.

I believe there is a saying for this sort of thing the 21st century humans use that appropriately captures this: FML.


End file.
